Archive for September, 2005

Spinning Justice in the Senate

Monday, September 12th, 2005

Here are some guidelines to cut through the spinspeak swirling around the nomination of Judge John Roberts as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.

activist = (right-wing conservative version) a judge who writes new law from the bench based on penumbras detected by liberal judges in the Constitution; (left-wing liberal) a judge who wouldn’t recognize a penumbra if it were his own shadow and reverses new law written from the bench.

original intent = codetalk for the Constitution means what it clearly says — not what you may want it to say.

living document = libtalk for the Constitution says whatever makes me feel good today and not what a bunch of white males in wigs put on paper more than 200 years ago.

mainstream = rubbertalk for a part of the river that moves to the left bank or the right bank depending on whatever a political spinmeister is trying to justify; to switch metaphors, the middle of the road becomes the sidewalks.

lifetime appointment = Halloweentalk used to scare the Great Unwashed with the fact known to every fourth grader until the advent of New Age Public Schools that appointment of Supreme Court justices has been for life since 1789.

right to privacy = codetalk for the right to drive-by abortions for all 24/7 if desired.

legal philosophy = fogword phrase for “gotcha” inquiries on how a judicial nominee would vote on political hot-button cases.

method of reasoning = putdowntalk for members of Congress who are, to use proper public school spinspeak, mentally challenged.