Archive for March, 2006

Spinspeak (Cutespeak Phyla) from the Corporate Cubicles

Wednesday, March 29th, 2006

The corporate spin machine:

seagull manager = an executive who flies in, makes a lot of noise, relieves himself on everything, and then leaves,

blamestorming = a meeting called to discuss why a project failed and who is at fault.

salmon day = a day spent swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

assmosis = a career success strategy based on sucking up to your boss as opposed to doing any work.

percussive maintenance = the common man technique of seeking to make a technological marvel work by kicking it.

404 = a person who is clueless, a designation derived from frustrating Internet error message “404 not found” meaning a requested document has been lost in the ether.

Spinspeak Flows On — and On

Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006

New grist from the Spinspeak Industry’s satantic mills:

incompetent = massive liberal inflator label for any infraction including crossing the street against the lights and spitting on the sidewalk.

momentum investor = bizschoolspeak for stock market speculator who throws increased buckets of cash at a rising stock.

towel snapper = cutespeak pejorative aimed at diminishing a crushing response to a dumb question or assertion by comparing it to fraternity showroom antics.

person of interest = police gobbledegook for an obvious suspect who would be in the nearest lock-up if all the evidence were available.

youths = French political bravebabble for young rioting Muslim thugs occupying bad suburbs from which they prey on the rest of France; also, rioting student socialized layabouts objecting to reforms that would allow employers to fire new hires after two years.