Archive for November, 2006

Turkey with a Side-order of Spinspeak Is Still Turkey

Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006

And now to go with your big holiday turkey here is some newly-minted post-election spinspeak:

realist = political fogspeak for “it’s OK to give away the farm to the enemy as long as we can get the boys home for Christmas.”

situation = cosmeticspeak for a war that you would like to make disappear and that you are politically committed to lose.

ill-advised = corporatespeak for a disastrous and truly stupid idea from which you wish to extricate yourself with a shed or two of grace.

engage = forked-tonguetalk for suggesting that you can somehow wheedle concessions out of an opponent who already has deprived you of your trousers.

Kerry Wins National Spinney for “Botched Joke”

Thursday, November 2nd, 2006

Sen. John Kerry (D-MA), failed contender for some of life’s greater awards such as unalloyed respect and the White House, is far away the winner of a coveted National Spinney for his invention of the plastertalk phrase “botched joke.”

As much of the world now knows, the Senator said at a Democratic political rally in California:

You know, education–if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.

When most people who can understand the English language saw or read this including many prominent Democratic politicians, they clearly interpreted it to mean that the Senator was saying only dopes and academic losers were fighting in the U.S. Armed Services in Iraq.

After two days of trying out much Kerry spinspeak, Kerry finally apologized (sort of) but even then continued to insist that his comment was only, merely, just a “botched joke.”

“Botched joke” is a triumph of the art of spinspeak. Think of how it could have been used brilliantly in the past and will be in the future to plaster over unfortunate comments and phrases. For example:

“Peace in our time” (N. Chamberlain)

“Is Paris Burning?” (A. Hitler)

“We will bury you.” (N. Khrushchev)

“Israel must be destroyed.” (M. Ahmadinejad, stand-up Persian comedian)